Jokes

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels!

Niamh: Did you hear about the detective who dropped his phone?
You: No I didn't.
Niamh: I did, it totally cracked the case.

What did one chip say to the other?
Hope you can ketchup.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasnt peeling well.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you call a bear that does not have ears?
B.

What do you call a fish that does not have eyes?
Fsh.

Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.

Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make everything up.

What do you count cows with?
A cow- culator!

Why are babies good at football?
Because they are star dribblers!

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.

There were four people in a plane about to crash, an athlete, Donald Trump, a 10 year old schoolgirl and an old man. Donald Trump said, "I’m the world’s smartest president! People don’t want me to die!" So he took a parachute and jumped out. The athlete said, "My fans and supporters don’t want me to die!" So he took a parachute and jumped out. The old man said to the schoolgirl, "I am old, and don’t have very many years left anyway. You take the last parachute." But the schoolgirl said, "Don’t worry, there’s a parachute for you too. The world’s smartest president took my school bag."

More jokes coming soon...